Tales of Spam Mail
I have two email accounts. One is for my “real” emails, and one is purely for spam - you know, the kind of address you’d use if you sign up for anything online - free promotional items, that sort of thing. About once every 2-3 weeks, I’ll log into my “spam” email address to clean it out. Occasionally, the kinds of spam I get are really entertaining. Funny, even. But…do they really think I’m that gullible???
Read:
Work With Google : Future Millionaires Wanted!
Really? I want to be a millionaire!! Send me an application!!
Process Samples: Make your Salary in a Month!
Hmm…say I make $40k a year. Does this mean that, by processing samples (of only God knows what), I’ll start making $480k a year!? Who needs to work for Google? Sign me UP!
Trislim: FREE Trial. Drop 15 Pounds in 15 Days, As Seen on CBS News
Holy crap. 15 pounds in 15 days? Screw you, healthy diet and exercise, I’m going the TriSlim route!
PediPaws Pet Nail Trimmer: Say Goodbye to Scratched Floors and Furniture Forever!
Forever, you say? Does this mean the claws will quit growing back?!
PatchPerfect: Grow Grass Anywhere
SWEET, I always wanted a lawn in my living room! Hello, indoor croquet!!
Video Game Schools: You Could Become Part of the Growing Video Game Industry
Awesome! Fast track to nerd-dom. Where do I sign!?
DebtCo Debt Solutions: Legally Erase Your Debt
You mean throwing out those bills and collection company notices haven’t been erasing them?? After all this time…!?
According to these emails, I could be a debt-free, skinny, rich video game creator who works for Google, makes 12x her normal salary every month, has perfectly un-scratched floors and the greenest, lushest lawn in the history of lawns.
Awesome.
9 People have left comments on this post
Haha! This is great. If all those things happened, I would so totally want to hang out with you and be your friend. Do you know how hard it is to find a friend with green, lush lawns? Extremely.
According to the spam emails *I* have received, I could be skinny, rich, reunited with everyone I have ever known or gone to school with, and “cured” of a certain physical ailment that apparently (based on the volume of spam) effects every single man on the face of the earth.
Spammers must think we’re idiots.
Kev :: So totally want to hang out with me and be my friend, eh? Hmm…I wonder what I did with that e-mail address for the green, lush lawns…would you buy me a lawn gnome!?
That kind of begs the question - who really WANTS to be reunited with everyone they have ever known or gone to school with?? If they wanted reactions, they should send out spam mail claiming to RID you of the majority of people you have known and/or gone to school with…now that would be a feat in and of itself!
Idiots? Who?
“Make your Salary in a Month!” means you will make one week of your current salary… in a month. Not such a good thing.
I would be so excited if some do-gooding hit squad decided to take a long weekend and rubbed out all ten of the major spammers, who are responsible for 99.9% of all spam on earth. And if ten more spammers cropped up next month, why, another long weekend! Keep killing them until they don’t pop up anymore. Eventually there will be no more spammers.
Marvin :: Yeah, I know, they worded that really poorly!!
I’m with you. Slow and steady knocking off of spammers will eventually rid us of them all. I am having deja vu…didn’t we have a similar conversation once about spammers and how they all deserve some form of horrible, painful punishment???
The email address I had when I first signed on with my ISP has been completely overrun with spam. I had to create a new one. SUCH a pain. I really hate spammers.
Funny stuff though! LOL It’s nice that you can laugh in the face of spam. Ha ha!
Corrina :: Ew, how annoying that you had an e-mail address so bogged down with spam you had to make a NEW one - I’ve never had to do that, although if I still actually used my Hotmail e-mail address (my official spam email address now) I’d have to do that. I log in about once every 2-3 weeks and there are HUNDREDS of spam mails just sitting there waiting for me to hit “delete all”….
Yeah girl. Rock on.
I’ve had some really weird spam emails, and yes, my main (formerly main) email account is now virtually useless due to the volume of spam it attracts. If I check it once a week, I have to wade through four to five thousand of the things.
Some are funny, some are just tedious. The quantity surely is tedious. The grammar is the same, sometimes funny, mostly just tedious. The latest spam mail in my box offers ‘qualitative replica watches’. Oh, really? How do they work then? Do they offer judgements on things as I go about my day? LOL!
Jay :: Haha…Qualitative replica watches? Hmmmm. I don’t know if I’d WANT a watch that offers up judgements all day, every day!! Hahaha…